Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
