How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
