Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
