so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
