I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
should my penis look like a turkey
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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