we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm jealous of your bromance
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
