i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
