Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
