try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
