He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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