Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
