I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
