Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
where am i from again
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
