im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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