THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I would fuck him just for his dog
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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