I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
