he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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