my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
