can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
