the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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