she was so not down for the gang bang
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
