She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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