I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
