Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
