you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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