nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she smelled like a LAN party
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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