he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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