um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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