Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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