found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
