Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
