Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
