You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
