Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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