You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
