so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize