One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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