there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
