peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
All the doctor said was why
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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