We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
