she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
