i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
