you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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