I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
