omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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