i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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