I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
