shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
