Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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