Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize