...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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