Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
