my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
