____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
