you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
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Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
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Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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