I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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