This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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