In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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