stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
