Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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