I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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