So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
