I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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