How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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