Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
