Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
And then my night got REAL pukey
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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