ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
