Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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