im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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