With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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